Just a Little Bit of Faith

Newlyweds

While living in Albuquerque, NM, David and I weren’t going to church, I wasn’t reading my Bible, we didn’t fit the profile of Christians. However, I remember praying in the shower many times for David to come home safely from wherever the Air Force sent him. I’m sure my prayers were like letters to Santa with more requests than gratitude or praise, but I was thankful that there was Someone looking out for David when he was away from me.

Our life from November 1997 to July 2000 saw us through some ups and downs. David was often away, and I didn’t have any friends. I bounced through a couple of jobs until I found something I excelled at. Employed in a call center for a mobile phone service provider, I worked my way up from basic troubleshooting to technical support to quality assurance. I made good money doing work that I enjoyed.

When we married, I thought David would serve his four-year term with the Air Force, separate from the military, and we’d settle down somewhere. But David had dreams of becoming a pilot; dreams he’d had since a young boy flying with his grandpa. When he learned that he could still qualify for pilot training, David enrolled in college to get a bachelor’s degree and then applied to Officer Training School (OTS).

During the months that he was in college, David and I didn’t see much of each other. My schedule varied, sometimes putting me at work at the only time he had at home. There were weeks that we only saw each other to say hello and good-bye. We lived somewhat separate lives.

Spring of 2000, David graduated college and immediately went away to Montgomery, AL, to attend OTS for twelve weeks. For a young couple, that was a long time to be apart. After the graduation events, we had to scurry back to Albuquerque, pack up, and move to Columbus Air Force Base (AFB), MS.

Before David could begin Undergraduate Pilot Training (UPT), he had to complete his private pilot’s license. To build hours, we rented a small aircraft and flew to nearby cities for dinner from time to time. We had fun together — biking, taking long walks with our dog, discussing plans for the future — essentially making up for lost time and preparing for more of the same.

December 2000, David started UPT, an intense one-year training program. We still spent what time we could together, but most of his time was consumed with learning systems, emergency procedures, and flight controls. I got a job at the local newspaper and eventually started taking some classes at the local community college. We settled into a sort of routine.

Then, September 11, 2001, the unthinkable happened with the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center and Pentagon. The events that day caused many people to reevaluate their lives, to take action where there had been inaction, to take comfort in their families.

Just before 9/11, in a routine visit to my OB/GYN, my doctor advised us to start thinking about having a baby. I had a history of cervical cancer that had been removed, and he thought it best to plan a pregnancy in case there was a recurrence. David and I decided not to wait any longer; we had been married for four years and felt the time was right.

The end of October 2001, giddy with anticipation, we found out I was expecting our first child!

Motherhood

My prayers expanded to include gratitude for our unborn baby and that she would grow healthy and strong. I stopped working and stayed home just to enjoy the experience of being pregnant. June 14, 2002, we welcomed Kiersten into our family; she was indeed healthy and strong, and beautiful, too. Our hearts filled with love for this little human.

The first few months with our newborn stretched us. Kiersten didn’t sleep unless we held her, so we took turns dozing upright in a glider rocking chair holding Kiersten so the other one of us could sleep. For the first month, we tried many things to help her sleep to no avail. Finally, despite David’s objections, I brought her to bed with me, and she slept for a few hours at a time with feedings through the night.

Eventually, sleep deprived and sad, I saw a counselor to talk through my feelings and to help me learn how to take care of myself while taking care of our new baby. She told me about postpartum depression and encouraged me to take time for myself, but I never did. I didn’t want to be separated from Kiersten.

When Kiersten was two months old, David got his aircraft assignment, the C-17, and we moved to Altus AFB, OK, for six months of training. There, he spent the majority of his time in classes or studying. Left on our own, Kiersten and I spent many hours amusing each other – gliding, playing, reading, singing, and experimenting with baby food. She grew into a happy, lovely, playful baby with the addition of solid food in her diet.

We had our first home built in Charleston, SC, while David completed his training. March 2003, we moved there. Shortly after moving, I began to feel desperate and very much alone. I didn’t know what to do. The War on Terror took David away from home for two to three weeks at a time. Concerned, he convinced me to seek counseling; the therapist diagnosed me with postpartum depression and prescribed an antidepressant. She also recommended a group for new mothers held on the Air Force base.

Hope Dawns

While attending the new mother’s group, I met Keri Lee. She had a son only three months younger than Kiersten. We became good friends, and we formed a small playgroup with some of the other young mothers.

I believe God placed Keri Lee in my life at that moment because she invited me to a small group at her church where two immensely important things happened the very first time I attended: 1) At a year old, I finally took Kiersten to childcare for the first time; she lived! and she loved it! 2) The woman who led the group, Karie, opened with a prayer. What she said changed the trajectory of my life, quite literally. Karie began to pray, “Father God…” 

To be honest, I have no idea what she said after that because those words “Father God” swirled in my head. Could God be the Father I had longed for… searched for… needed all those years?!? Could He fill the void I’d been trying unsuccessfully to fill for so many years? Could God be my Father?

You can probably guess the answer, but I have to say it anyway. YES! He could. He was. He is. He always will be.